HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I cut my penus on the lid.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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