If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
