So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
