Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
