That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize