Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
