even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
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Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
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he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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