He felt like a one man threesome
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
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would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's blow job season.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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