dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
