There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
