I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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