i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize