she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
