did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
