32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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