my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So much rum. So many feels.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have already put on my inside pants.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
