She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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