so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
