I think I am morally bankrupt
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
