thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My ass is underappreciated
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
