Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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