he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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