PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Randomize
