hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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