i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Found your dick twin last night
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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