I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
