I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
