guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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