In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
