I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I intend to get homeless drunk
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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