Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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