8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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