How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
