come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
