I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
