census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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