He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
