He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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