Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
