Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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