I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
