Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
