next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
