also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
ok first of all what the fuck
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
