I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
