I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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