I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
