i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
