i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
