i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
