He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
