i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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