You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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