Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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