My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
