No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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