next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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