Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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