Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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