I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
