I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize