I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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