He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
