ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
