oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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