Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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