it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
