if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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